~KokushiMusho

SUPER SABAW ENTRY. AFTER READING, LAGYAN NA LANG NG GULAY ANG UTAK, NILAGA NA. BRAIN NILAGA SOUP. ADD KNORR CUBES TO TASTE.

WEIRD ENCOUNTERS

Sometimes in our lives, on an unexpected note, we come across weird encounters. Something that pushes our sanity to the verge of paranoia. Something that leaves us baffled for a certain point of time. We wonder how a simple smile from a certain person could brighten up our day. We wonder how a simple chat (online or in real life) could give us hope. We wonder how, for no reason at all, we begin to feel different.

We then begin to flatter. For women, it's what they call "bola" in Filipino. For men, however, it's a mere translation of what they really think of the woman they adore. Men don't just give off flattering statements without inspiration. I know some men are experts in giving inspirationless statements meant to flatter, but for my kind, I just dont give compliments to a girl that I dont really find inspiration into. For emphasis, we start to call them things like: "you are the most beautiful woman in my eyes" or "you are the prettiest cutest and sexiest princess in the whole universe". Although you really meant it when you made the statement, it would sound funny and more often than not, your sincerity would be put to question, and so are your motives.

TIME WILL HEAL?

After some time. After being rejected. After being questioned of your real motives when you only wanted all the good things for her. After flirting with other girls that comes and goes in your life (that you really liked) in an attempt to forget. After leaving and then coming back to get what you didn't get. After being poisoned mutually by outside forces and authorities. Emo entry after emo entry.

After all those times, You see her again- still as beautiful as always. Talented, Intelligent, and all- something that every guy simply can't resist. It is something that every guy dreamed of having- an ideal girl. No wonder a lot of guys would surely flock the likes of her- each one trying to be different to catch her attention. HOWEVER, something's different. Yes, she still has the best smile, whether it's on an orange or yellow background, doesn't matter, SHE'S STILL BEAUTIFUL.. BUT, it doesnt feel the same when you saw her months or years ago. She changed but she changed for the better. MORE BEAUTIFUL, MORE GORGEOUS, SEXIER, MORE INTELLIGENT, MORE TALENTED. BUT it doesnt feel the same.

SHE'S STILL BEAUTIFUL, SO WHAT?

You try to look beyond those pretty eyes that have played with your sanity all these times- no spark. You try to look at those angelic smile that leaves you breathless each time- no spark. You try to look at her very beautiful face- no spark. Princess, Goddess, Queen- no spark.

You know deep within- your deepest darkest secret, that you really loveD her in the most obscure way. You believe you are sane but people who will never understand your ways would believe otherwise. You delve deeper finding that feeling- still no spark.

NOT THE SAME

It's not the same. You try to fight but you realize that it's not worth fighting for anymore. Maybe you're just drained, mutilated, demoralized? I dont know. You try to get something from it like friendship but you realize that you have no bridge to fill tha gap between you-- to become friends. You build the bridge but she would eventually keep on burning it. You try to keep in touch, but you know she'll just be around and for her, it's just your lame excuse. She'll just be around anyway. At a corridor or a classroom at your school perhaps where you always see her? At the cashier where you first talked? My point is.. there is no point. No point for doing it. Yes, there is nothing to save- not even my anonymity.

BEGINNING OF AN END?
After all of them who came and go. You see another one at a local church. You ask for forgiveness for losing your concentration. A very beautiful one who looks like a model melts in your eyes like candy. Admit it, when one see a very attractive member of the opposite sex, one sets one's eye, or corner of one's eye, on that member. Modesty aside, but you see her looking back at a lot of instances. You wanted to say "Hi" but you just decided to leave and hope that you meet her again next time-- or meet another one. You then realize that there are a lot of attractive members of the opposite sex around. You begin counting and realize you have a lot of friends and you don't really need someone who doesn't need you anyway because that someone has everything. You always cared for someone who dont care... all the while ignoring those who really care...

Never say never they say. Wag kang magsasalita ng tapos. Maybe I'll eat my last words at a certain time in the future. I don't really know. I just want her to be really happy but I don't really care now if I see her smile or not. Orange or yellow, whatever the season is, I genuinely wish that she blooms through the passing of seasons.

I put my hand on my left chest to feel if it still lives... With a cloak of anonymity, I try to give a damn... but it's dead.

(pasensya na kung madrama, ahehehe... XD)

Goodbye Deviantart.